A picture of my mother in the years before my impending conception.
Born in 1921, mom left this world on October 22, 2004
(A poetic tribute to my mother appears below)
PART TWO BEGINS BELOW
To receive prayer, know more about Jesus, or link to my other pages, scroll
to bottom of page
Poems That Appear On This Page
Death Row Bible
There are four poems that appear on this web page. The first, "Family
", was inspired by Tony Montemurro, Senior Pastor of Calvary Chapel of York (church web site) and the body of Christ at Calvary (link displays pictures of church and people).
By their actions they displayed the love of God to me in very real
and tangible ways over an extended period of time as I eventually faced
a near total mental and physical breakdown and ended up in a hospital
and that poem appears below the death row bible and the picture of my
cousin. The second, "Web Page Shuffle" appears in THE MINISTRY BEGINS
section and was inspired by the things that were happening on my web
pages as I slowly began to rebuild this ministry and update my web
pages. The third I composed to share as I officiated at my mother's funeral
service. Her first name was Grace and the poem is so titled "Grace" and appears
at the beginning of the section of this page titled REFLECTIONS ON MY MOTHER
. The fourth, "The Choice
" appears at the beginning of the RELIGIOUS CONFUSION AND DOCTRINAL CHAOS
section of this page and was inspired by my search in God's Word for
answers and by people who claimed they had the absolute truth and it
was their way or the Hell Way.
As you read my testimony, you will read about two of my cousins on
row in SC. Please make note of the fact that both cousins were
Butch (John Arnold) in March of 1998, and John Plath in July of
1998. I have added another page to my web site
that hyper links to a letter I wrote to thank the hundreds of you
stood in prayer with me as my cousins were put to death, and that gives
on the state of their salvation as they were strapped to the table to
That link, now completed, appears directly below this update for
of you who have already read the part 1 testimony, and also below this
so that you may read the testimony first and then go directly to the
without returning to the top of this page The title of that web page is
"How They Left This Earth". Below this introduction you will find a
of the inside front cover of the Bible my cousin sent me from death
two cousins are # 1 and # 9 on the page. John must have had the Bible
to get out to me for a few months before he was able to send it because
came to me as the NFL Football season was getting started.
With Tears And Prayers
All My Love
Bible sent to me from death row in SC signed by 12 death row inmates including
my two cousins, numbers 1 and 9 above, both executed in 1998
|KNOWN DATES OF EXECUTION FOR THOSE|
WHO SIGNED THE BIBLE ABOVE
#1 July 10th, 1998
#3 April 27th, 1990
#4 January 11th, 1985
#5 December 4th, 1998
#6 December 4th, 1998
#7 Murdered, see link below
(September 12th, 1982)
#9 March 6th, 1998
#10 January 10th, 1986
#12 August 18th, 1995
how inmate number 7 above, Rudolph Tyner, was murdered, literally, had
his head blown off by an explosive device, while in a cell on death row in SC just a few feet
away from my cousin John, number 1 above, in 1982 by Donald Gaskins. A prolific killer, dubbed the Redneck
Charlie Manson in some press accounts and also known as Pee Wee Gaskins, by clicking below.
My Cousin John Plath
My cousin John who sent me the bible pictured above
on his way to death row in SC before he was executed in July of 1998
It's time to join the family, my pastor said to me
In great dismay I looked at him, wanting just to flee
It's time to join the family, he said now once again
For he had seen me cry, because I had no friends!
I heard the words, knew it was true, for God had used his heart
To demonstrate great love to me, and show me where to start
In the end there was no choice, a healing had begun
No longer could I hide away, no longer could I run!
Years of lame excuses, now crashed unto the ground
God had brought a pastor, who was going to hang around
In love he just kept saying, "Soon you will begin"
"Here is your new family, simply let us in!"
I took my first few steps, excuses no longer real
It was time to grow, time to grow and feel
For no man is an island, no one can stand alone
And as this family loves me, I'm slowly coming home!
© Jay L. Zumbrum
In Jesus Precious Name
And for HIS Glory
THE TESTIMONY OF JAY L. ZUMBRUM PART II
I have been putting off updating my testimony pages for
several weeks due to much updating needed on many of my other pages and because so much has changed and there are so many new
realities in my life now, that I just could not decide on a starting
point for part two.
There are three churches and Pastors that have played a huge part in my healing. The first is The Family Worship Center of York,
a Foursquare Gospel church. The Pastors, Bill and Millie Maze are no
longer there but it was Bill who helped me get back on my feet in
1987-1990 and Bill who led my mother to the Lord after she came to
church one Sunday to hear me play and sing.
The second is First Moravian
Church of York, PA and Pastor Sayward E.G. Lippincott.
The third is Calvary Chapel of York and Pastor Tony Montemurro. To view a few pictures of my home church, click here, Calvary Pictures.
I will try to fill in the blanks below.
After much prayer and thought, as I was sitting here today, November
20, 2008, I have decided to open part two by sharing with the world how
the Poems2God ministry began. So here goes. Thank you for coming to
this page and I pray God will allow hearts to be touched by what
very first poem was written in the last two months of 1986 as I was
approaching my three year anniversary in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Early in 1982 I separated from my wife and daughter and left New
Hampshire, where my wife's family was from and where we moved to try
and save our marriage in 1981, and I returned to Pennsylvania.
The first thing I did when I got back to PA was look up all my old
drinking buddies and I began drinking heavily again to dull the pain in
my heart. I was very angry at God, and did not understand all that was
happening to me. It hurt, I did not like the pain and God was not going
to do this to me again. So I called upon my old friend alcohol, and it
was waiting with open arms.
This led to my
eventual arrest in the wee hours of January 28, 1984 for a DUI charge.
I share much more about this in my forthcoming book "WHO CARES?"
That was the day I took my last drink. I had been so drunk I did not even remember driving my car.
I had been driving, only God knows how long, in a blackout and when
arrested for the DUI, I was many miles from the bar where I had started
the evening. I remember my first few drinks in that bar and then
nothing else until I came out of the blackout sitting along side a road
with a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes. I did not
remember being pulled over, I did not remember leaving the bar, I did
not remember driving and I had no idea where I was. My next conscious
thought was the flashlight in my eyes. I had completely lost over 10
hours of my life.
When I sobered up the next day
I realized I could have hit someone and killed them and I would never
have known it until they came to arrest me. That scared me and for the
first time in my life I admitted I could not control alcohol and that
it was controlling me and ruining my life. It took two more weeks, but
at the end of the second week I called Alcoholics Anonymous and went to
my first meeting.
allowed one to have a higher power and that was fine with me. I
faithfully attended as many meetings a week as I could, sometimes two a
day and on weekends sometimes three a day. My mind and my heart began
to heal and slowly I began praying again, not to a higher power, but to
the God I knew, the God of the Bible.
As I was
approaching three years of continuous sobriety the desire to come back
to God was getting stronger, and louder, and harder to ignore and
finally, in late 1986 I hit my knees and sought my Father's love again.
I prayed and asked God to use me this time, not to let me sit on the
sidelines, to help me touch the lives of children who were at that very
hour making all the wrong choices I had made. Two days later I wrote my
first poem. (explained in detail in "Who Cares?")
I was sure the first poem was a fluke, but there followed a second, a
third. I was sure the ability would fade as quickly as it had come, but
the poems kept coming.
After my first year of
continuous sobriety I began to mentor, or be a sponsor to several new
young men in AA. As the first one of them neared his one year
anniversary I decided to see if I could do more with the poetry than
just write about something that had popped into my mind. I tried to
write a poem based on his experiences in his first year of sobriety and
to congratulate him in poetry for hanging in there.
That was when I first discovered I could control my writing, that I
could bring real life experiences of people I knew alive on paper. From
that experience I began to realize that by talking to people for a few
minutes I could take what they felt in their hearts and bring it to
life on paper for them.
To try and keep the
length of this testimony reasonable I will now fast forward from 1987
to 1996, as quickly as I can, (you will have to read the book), when God began to open my
eyes to the power of the Internet and personal computers.
My first personalized poems, written for people somewhere around 1987,
took more than two weeks to get into their hands once I had written a
poem. I would type the poem out on a typewriter, then take the poem to
a printer so they could center the poem and print it on a board in an
appealing text, many times I had to have the printer correct spelling
errors they had made typesetting the poem on the board, then take
the board and a piece of parchment paper to a copy center and copy the
board onto the parchment paper.
made the poems cost prohibitive and time consuming. One day I asked the
printer why he could correct typesetting mistakes sometimes in less
than a day and he told me all typesetting was now done by computer.
That was all I needed to hear. Off I went to Radio Shack.
At Radio Shack I showed a salesman a poem board and explained what I
was doing. He sat me down at a computer, pulled up a text editing
program and said, "type your poem in", so I did, then he told me to
hi-lite the poem, then he showed me on a drop down menu that I could
center the poem with one click and with another click, check the
spelling and I could move text and change things till the poem was just
right, next he showed me how to pick a type style, again with one
click and then how to send the poem to a printer hooked to the
computer. In less than 15 minutes I had a completed poem which before
had taken two to three weeks to be completed by taking it to a printer.
I was so excited I almost fell out of the chair. God had everything I
needed already created. Then the bomb fell.
have to remember, this was 1987. The only printers available at that
time capable of printing a smooth, nice looking type style were laser
printers and personal computing was basically in it's infancy. When I
asked the price for all the components I needed to do personalized
poems I again almost fell out of the chair. The cost for a computer,
printer and the program to edit the poems was over $5000.00. My heart
sank in my chest and personalized poems ceased to be created. But I
never gave up on the dream. I began to pray and hope.
By late 1995 computers and printers were much more affordable and I now
had over 10 years of continuous sobriety. I was finally able to scrape
together enough money to get a computer, ink jet printer and a text
editing program and my creativity was once again unleashed. I again
began selling personalized poems.
It was at this
time that God brought across my path a lady to whom I had sold a poem.
When she came to pick up her poem she saw my computer system and asked
me if I was on the Internet. My response was "the inter-what?".
By 1996 I had experimented with an Internet provider know then as
Prodigy and then settled on AOL as my provider. With AOL God began to
open new avenues for the sharing of my writings.
The screen name I decided on for my AOL account was Poems2God as a way
of letting people know that I wrote poetry and that I was a Christian.
On line with AOL I was introduced to two new (to me) avenues of
communication, chat rooms and instant messages. Because God allows me
to write poems so quickly, many times when I was in a chat room someone
would say something or I would see an unusual screen name and
having a lighter side to my personality I would quickly write a poem
and share it with the room. This in turn caused those who read the
poems to ask to know more about me. That happened so often and I got so
tired of retyping over and over my facts of life that I created a text
file of my testimony and when people then asked for more about me I
would ask their permission, pull up the text file, copy and paste it
into an e-mail and e-mail it to them. I began to do this with some of
the more serious poems I wrote also and began to share them in the same
On one occasion I was in a chat room, I
shared a short poem I had just written based on something someone in
the room had just said and received a request from a lady, also
chatting in the room, for more about me, so I e-mailed my testimony to
her and a few of my poems. The next day I received an e-mail from her.
The e-mail contained a hyper link to a web page and on that web page
was my testimony and my poems.
In the e-mail the
lady challenged me to share my testimony and poems with the world via a
web site. I accepted the challenge, began with one small web page, and
from that humble beginning grew a web domain that eventually housed 12
web pages and over 70 of my poems to God. AOL just shut down (Oct. 31, 2008) all web page
hosting so all 12 pages and months of work would have been lost if it
had not been for my friend Joel in AL and his new son in law Kevin, who
happens to be a web page designer. You can see a picture of Joel and God's Gang and a picture of Kevin and his new bride on my HOME page by scrolling down on the page. Joel
wanted me to share my web pages with people, but giving them my AOL web
address was tedious since you had to input all of AOL's member's pages
info along with the actual address for my homepage, which was way too
much for anyone to remember or even want to bother writing down or
typing in to a search engine. So
Joel got together with his son in law and Joel bought space on a
hosting domain where you can now simply type in Poems2God.com and then
copied all of my pages over to that site. They did this like 2 months
before any of us knew AOL was going to be closing web page hosting. I
have been amazed with the fact that God already had a new hosting
domain up and ready to go when AOL closed down my web site. If it were
not for Joel and Kevin I would have lost 12 web pages and literally
several months work done previously years ago on AOL. Thank you Joel,
thank you Kevin, thank you Father! I am taking this as a sign from God
that he still has work for me to do while I still reside on this earth.
Kevin has been extremely patient and gracious as I have had
to relearn web publishing from scratch on the new domain
the following poem.
AOL closed my
pages, twelve of them there were
I am trying to save them,
my mind is quite a blur
I edit text, add an
image, then send it to my site
Then pull it up, on the
net, but nothing there is right!
Upside down backwards
text, errors do abound
I look on in amazement,
as I hop around
Images look like mush,
like there has been a tussle
I'm not doing
well, with the Web Page Shuffle!
My eyes roll up, in my
head, steam comes from my ears
I want to touch the keys,
but have a thousand fears
all driving me insane
I think I have one cell
left, working in my brain!
With no where left to
turn, my mind in disarray
I finally realize, I just
need to pray
For all of this I do, I
do for God's great glory
Teach me now my King, to
publish all Your story!
© Jay L. Zumbrum
In Jesus Precious Name
And For His Glory
Since moving to my new hosting site my web domain has grown from 12 to
more than 20 web pages and is growing almost daily as God continues to
allow my creativity to flourish. I no sooner finish one web page and
sit here content that I am nearing the end of updating and adding
pages and features when a new concept, a new idea takes flight and I am
off again on another new adventure.
As all of
that is taking place God is also allowing my Personalized Poems
business to be reignited and new ideas arrive almost daily in this area
also. Just this morning (Nov. 21, 2008) I picked up from my new
printer, Wade D. Glosser of Penny Press of York, Inc
. my first ever
professionally printed small advertising handouts. Penny Press was the
closest printer to my home and Wade has been patient and worked very
hard, to the point of personal sacrifice, to make sure my very small
project had a professional look. He did an excellent job which will
make my job of selling much easier. Thank you Wade and thank you Father
for putting Wade in my path.
There is much, much more to how this ministry evolved, which, God
willing will be included in "Who Cares?"Return To Contents
The Poem Below Was Composed By Me
To Be Shared At My Mother's Funeral Service
She lived and passed as Grace, the name they gave at birth
What a precious gift, given to this earth
She blessed our hearts with love, even in her pain
And in our hearts forever, her grace will now remain!
A precious child of God, at times misunderstood
Always she would find, a way to do us good
Forgiving every fault, that we might display
And showing yet again, grace in her special way!
She became my teacher, with her precious love
Showing me the mercy, of my God above
A heart so pure and simple, a love so strong and true
I am so glad dear Mom, that God gave me to you!
I honor her today, with the words above
And thank my awesome Father, for her guiding love
For in the life she lived, in all that I could see
She showed me every day, my Father's love for me!
God Bless You Mom
November 25th, 1921 - October 22nd, 2004
Moving on from how the poetry ministry evolved I would now like to
touch a bit more on my mother and how my love and respect for her have
grown since she left this world in 2004.
It has become painfully obvious to me over the last
few years how catastrophically devastating depression and anxiety
can be in one's life and I now realize that my mother suffered from
both to a much greater degree than I realized.
am now in awe of her because even though she fought these battles, and
exhibited some of the character flaws that can manifest as compensation
mechanisms, she did love me and was always there for me. She tried
desperately to gain my love and respect in the only ways that made
sense to her. Unfortunately those actions on her part taught me wrong
coping skills that led to my eventual early years drug and alcohol
It breaks my heart to know what she
suffered through. Knowing what I now know, having lived through the
hell of depression and anxiety attacks, I am deeply saddened that she
is not here now so I can explain to her that I now understand how
much she loved me and I know now she never really meant to hurt or harm
me. She was a mother in every sense of the word to the best of her
ability and before she left this earth she taught me the concept of
God's unconditional love in so many different and profound ways that I
find myself sitting here weeping as I try to get these words to the
I do not remember the year but do remember that my mother began to grow
in her understanding of spiritual things after she was saved at The Family Worship Center of York
I had been attending there for quite awhile when Pastor Bill asked me
one Sunday to play and sing one of my songs the following Sunday which
I agreed to. I had also been staying away from my mom since it seemed
every time I tried to talk with her it would end up in shouting matches
which seemed fine with her but were very embarrassing to me.
Somehow mom found out I was playing and singing and called and asked if
I would take her to church to listen. This was the last thing I needed,
mom blowing out of control in the parking lot of the church before I
played and though I said yes I was on pins and needles when we got to
church the following Sunday.
I will keep this very concise here and save the rest for "WHO CARES
Mom came to church, heard me play and sing, Pastor Bill, sensing the
moment gave an alter call and mom responded. I used to tell people when
mom was with me yet that Bill gave an alter call, she thought he asked
people to come down and pray for me and came down to pray I would never
play and sing in public again.
Mom was saved that
day and God had a church family just waiting to love on her and she
began steady and regular fellowship with several of the ladies in her
age range at the church, many times hanging out with them during the
It was this group of women that God used to
get through to her and cause spiritual growth and healing to begin.
Without this step taking place, the next may never have happened. Where
ever you are now Bill and Millie, I thank you from the bottom of my
heart for taking on a project like mom and I and I deeply thank the
people of The Family Worship Center of York
for reaching out to us.
I eventually left The Family Worship Center of York
due to the continuing doctrinal chaos, explained below, that sent me into isolation.
In the last five years of my mother's life
I had the great honor and privilege of having her live with me after
she became ill. When I brought her to live with me I had to sign her
out of a rehabilitation center the hospital had sent her to. They we
about to ship her off to a nursing home having never consulted me and
tried to tell me she had given up and was not long for the earth. My
mother called me at my home and told me they were trying to send her to
a nursing home. What follows below explains several of the trials I
faced as I tried to save my mother.Dear Brothers and Sisters,
Many of you have requested more info on what has been happening with my
mother and her recent illness and stay in the hospital. I will now do
my best to convey the facts in a concise manner.
Thursday, November 18th, 1999 my mother made her daily walk to a local
store in the city of York to get her evening paper. It is usually one
of the highlights of her day, she enjoys the walk and talking to the
people at the store. The store is about 2 1/2 blocks from mom's home.
Mom was 77 on this day, (her birthday was Nov. 25th and she is now 78),
and sometimes has trouble making it to a bathroom if she is too far
from one. On this day, just as she reached the store, she had a number
2 accident in her depends. She also began to feel slightly ill, so she
sat down on the steps outside the store.
after the accident mom's friend whom she has known now over two years
appeared. This is a 74 year old lady who also lives in the neighborhood
and whom mom likes to go visit. I had never met the lady and knew of
her only by what my mother told me. Mom says the lady often borrows
money from her, but always repays her and is always making things for
mom to eat. One other aspect of this friendship had been a concern for
me, that was the fact that this lady, from time to time, would ask mom
to rub her body, claiming to have pain from arthritis. I asked mom some
very pointed questions about this part of the friendship and she
assured me there was nothing perverse or morally wrong, that she was
just trying to help her friend. This lady is not saved, cusses like a
sailor when angry and smokes almost in a chain like fashion. Certainly
not a good environment for mom, but she is an adult, so I just kept my
distance in this matter, asked questions from time to time, and
accepted that mom now had a friend she enjoyed hanging out with, but
who, in my mind, had some very strange habits and did not seem to be
making rational choices in her life since she is elderly also at 74 and
would not put a phone in her apartment.
This is the lady whom appeared on November 18th as my mother was feeling a bit out of sorts.
The lady took mom from the store to her apartment. There she tried to
get mom into her tub so mom could get cleaned up, but once mom was in
she could not get her back out, so she went and got another lady to
help her get mom out of the tub. I do not know who the other lady was.
Once mom was out of the tub she began to get very sick, so the lady
talked her into staying overnight because it was not safe for mom to
walk home by herself now that she was sick. From that point on mom's
condition worsened daily, within one day she was so sick she could not
get out of bed, she asked the lady to call me, told the lady she wanted
to go home, but the lady did not call me.
asked my mother 1000 times to please always keep my phone number with
her, but she refuses to do so, and when she asked the lady to call me
she was already too sick to remember my number, so the lady says she
did not know my number and that is why she did not call me.
As the days went on, this lady got mom's key from her and went to mom's
apartment supposedly to get some clothes for mom and to feed and water
mom's bird. Mom told her when she went to her apartment to please call
my son, I want to leave here and go home. Mom told the lady my number
was in the phone book, she also told this lady that the lady who lived
in the apartment below her had my number and she could get it from this
Well, needless to say, the friend
never looked up the number, never asked the lady downstairs for the
number and made no effort to call me.
I am used
to mom not being home, I knew that many times she would walk up to this
lady's apartment and spend hours visiting there, sometimes not leaving
until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning as they would watch movies and chat.
I had repeatedly cautioned mom about this foolish activity of staying
up there so late, but mom is stubborn and would tell me she would not
do it any more only to turn around and do it again, so for some time I
had been concerned about the way this relationship was developing. Mom
was walking home alone at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning right through the
heart of the most heavily traveled drug dealing area of town and there
were shootings in this area on a regular basis.
had already come to the conclusion that I was going to have to get mom
out of this neighborhood, but as you all know, I was almost homeless
myself and not even sure I would be able to keep my apartment, so I was
praying to God for my mom and this lady, for God to keep mom safe and
for mom to be a witness to this lady.
As most of
you know, I began a new job on November 1st and spent two weeks on day
work to be trained. After the two weeks on day work I was transferred
to 3rd shift on November 15th, actually going into work on the evening
of Sunday, November 14th at 10:00 PM. My hours are from 10:00 PM to
6:00 AM Sunday night through Thursday night. Needless to say, I was
having a very hard time adjusting to 3rd shift, getting almost no sleep
as my body tried to deal with the change and was still dealing with the
aftermath of the fiasco with my car, which had broken down needing
major repairs twice within three months. I still do not have all the
repairs needed completed yet.
Since I had just
started a new job in a field which I had no experience, I was trying
desperately to hold onto the job, but I had so much to learn that I was
becoming overwhelmed and beginning to think I might fail. I am only a
Temp and have to prove to them I can learn the job and function well in
it. So when mom did not answer her phone when I called, I figured she
was visiting her friend again. For 6 days I had been calling to make
sure she was okay. I was beginning to get angry at mom for not at least
calling to let a message and let me know she was okay. I continued to
pray for her and asked God to keep her safe.
Finally, after 6 days of no contact I resolved that before I went into
work on the night of Tuesday, November 23rd, I would take the time to
go over to mom's to see what was wrong. When I got to mom's place about
8:00 PM I found that her mail was still in her mail box and her paper
was still on the steps. Mom never misses a day of not getting her mail
or of getting her morning paper, (which she has delivered), in off the
porch, so I knew immediately she had not been home the night before,
when I let myself into her apartment the bird squawked like crazy and I
found the cage a complete mess, bird seed scattered all over the floor
and the birds water very dirty. Mom loves that bird and takes very good
care of it. so I knew either she was very sick or had not been home in
a few days. I searched the apartment, mom was not there, so I then went
straight to her friend's house and that is where I found mom.
When I found her she was laying in a puddle of sweat, hair all matted
down, she could almost not speak, she was shaking uncontrollably, and
could not get out of bed. I looked at her in amazement and asked her
why she did not have this lady call me as soon as she had gotten sick.
She looked at me with pleading eyes and told me she had asked the lady
to call me and that she wanted to go home. I turned to the lady and
asked her why she did not call me. She made some lame excuses and I
began to get upset. I was very tired, it was only my third night of
reporting for 3rd shift and I was running on almost no sleep, and it
now became obvious that I was going to miss work if I took mom to the
hospital, and I was sure by looking at her that she needed treatment
very quickly. But I was torn because I was afraid at work they might
think I was trying to get out of coming in and could not handle 3rd
shift. I tried to reach a compromise in my mind, asked mom if she would
be okay to stay there one more night and told her if I did go in I
would come here right from work the next morning and get her to the
The lady then began to object and asked
that mom stay with her since mom could not be alone because she was so
sick. I told her again that as soon as I got off work mom was going to
the hospital and I would talk with mom then and find out if she wanted
to come stay with me or return to her friends home. I told the lady I
wanted her to take my phone number so if mom got worse overnight she
could call me and I would leave work and get mom the care she needed.
The lady refused to take my phone number and at that point I made the
choice that I would miss work and mom was getting out of this place.
At this point the lady began to verbally attack me and I lost my temper
and really unleashed my fury on her, letting her know that as far as I
was concerned she had kidnapped my mother, had failed to get help for
her, had refused to call me, and that if she did not go to a phone
immediately and call for an ambulance to get mom to the hospital I was
going to have her arrested. There was no way I was leaving mom out of
my sight and alone with this lady while I went to call for help, since
there was no phone there.
Again the lady verbally
attacked me and again I unleashed my frustration on her, this time
telling her if I left, when I came back she was going to jail. Mom was
far too sick for me to try and move her alone. The lady finally
realized I was serious and went to make the call, she also called the
police, but when the cop got there, saw the condition of my mother,
found out I was her son and that the lady had not called me, he
realized he could not stop me from taking mom out of there.
must convey to you that this lady is active in drug marches and had
worked closely with the police letting them know when there was
suspicious activity in the area, she also has a friend who is a city
council woman and these people had worked together to get my mother to
vote for the first time in her life at the age of 77. So when she
called the police along with the ambulance, it was to try and get my
mother away from me again.
Still not fully understanding all the facts, and not wanting to upset
mom, I told this lady she could go with mom to the hospital and I would
decide after mom was checked out if she could return to this lady's
home, but I had already decided there was no way she was going back
The ambulance crew took mom to the
emergency room and the lady, who rode to the hospital with me, claiming
she could not get into the ambulance with mom because of arthritis, and
I waited in the emergency room. I told the lady I had to go call into
work and that I would have to run out to my place to get the number
since I had to call a specific in house office because the main office
was closed for the night. I left the hospital and went home, got the
number I had been given, called in and returned to the hospital to find
that this lady had gone back to where mom was as soon as I had left the
hospital. I also went back and it became obvious to me that this lady
was trying to get mom not to communicate with me, as she kept
interrupting my conversations with mom, kept standing up and physically
touching mom to keep her attention. She again attacked me verbally
there in the hospital room and as I laid the facts out in front of her
with all the hospital staff looking on she got up, walked out of the
room where mom was and never came back.
this short, mom was diagnosed as being dehydrated to the point that
some of her body functions had begun to shut down. They gave her two
bags of fluid intravenously, ran some tests and told me to take mom
home and keep fluids in her.
I brought mom home
to my apartment and was amazed that they had let her come home, she was
so weak she could barely walk and the next few days were hell as mom
was too weak to make it to a potty chair I had placed in her room and
her symptoms kept going back and forth from worse to better to worse. A
few days later I had set up an appointment with a doctor at a clinic to
see mom and with great effort got her into the shower and cleaned up,
then took her too the appointment. The Doctor saw how very weak mom was
and ordered new tests, but again they missed the infection and just
thought I was not getting enough fluids into mom, so they sent her home
The next day I got off work at 6:00 A.M.,
came home and collapsed into bed after making sure mom was okay and
cleaning up the messes. At 10:30 A.M. something woke me up and I went
to check on mom. She was covered in sweat, shaking uncontrollably and
vomiting and almost choking on her vomit because she was too weak to
lift her head off the pillow. I got her sitting up, wrapped her in a
blanket, got all of the vomit out of her mouth, then took her
temperature. She could not keep her mouth closed but in less than a
minute the thermometer read 103.
I got on the
phone, called the doctor she had seen the day before and the DOC told
me to bring her back to the clinic. I told the DOC there was no way I
could get mom there by myself as she was too weak to walk and the DOC
finally okayed an ambulance to get mom to the emergency room. Finally
on this trip after they ran more tests they admitted mom to the
hospital, but at that point it was only because her temperature was 104
and she was 78 and they said that was a very dangerous development.
Finally after 2 days and about 30 different tests they identified that
mom had contracted a urinary tract infection of e-coli virus, which
then got into her bloodstream.
Mom was in the
hospital about a week and now is in a rehab hospital and doing much
better. They seem to think she will soon be coming home and all I can
do is thank God I found her in time to save her and at this point I
still have an apartment to which she will come and be safe, warm, dry
and under my watchful eyes. :o)
Mom is now home, I had to sign her out against
the doctors recommendation and am now wondering if I have made a
mistake, she is very, very weak, can only walk a few feet at a time and
her legs keep giving out on her.
Yet when I went
to see her last night she got right out of that wheel chair and scooted
all around, it just makes me wonder what they gave her this morning
that made her so weak.
They have been loading her
up with all sorts of drugs and I am convinced this is why she has lost
her appetite and why she now shakes so badly while just sitting there.
I had actually begun to wonder if she was losing her mind because she
would just sit there and stare into space at times while I would visit
I learned before they released her today
that because she was not eating right they put her on an antidepressant
drug, so I guess she is now hooked on some kind of tranquilizer and
that is why she seemed so out of it.
sake, they sent her from the hospital to the rehab with 2 splintered
bones in her back. I had been telling them for weeks something was
wrong, no one listened. So she got to rehab and they had her doing
exercises which aggravated her injury. I finally had to raise hell and
threaten to file a lawsuit. Then they took her for more x-rays and
found the splintered bones. In the mean time they loaded her up with
all those drugs because she had lost her appetite. Geesh, she lost her
appetite because she had severe pain from the exercises they were
making her do.
Deb, they have destroyed my mom. :o(
She is a trooper though and has tried very hard. To see her like this
makes me feel very helpless and very sad.
her up the steps to the upstairs where my bedroom is she had to sit on
the steps and go up them one at a time and even that took me lifting
her to the next step.
I learned also today that
when she begins to come off this antidepressant that she may have
adverse reactions, as in withdrawal I think.
in the name of God they put her on an antidepressant because she had
lost her appetite I will never understand.
know is every time I went to see her there was more wrong with her. I
am also convinced that they messed up while she was in the York
Hospital and may have given her a wrong drug because one night I was
out to see her and she was getting stronger and looking much better and
the next day after giving her medication they had to rush her to a
heart monitoring ward.
I am so frustrated I could
scream, but instead I tried praying with mom, I was afraid I could not
get her up the steps and was afraid to tell her because she was sitting
there almost crying because she could not make it up those stairs and
was terrified I was going to send her to a nursing home. That broke my
heart, so I got down and we prayed.
I was honest
with God and told him I was not even sure he was who he claimed to be
anymore, but that if he was and he could forgive me for my lack of
faith I could use some help.
That's when I
thought about the step at a time thing and it worked. Poor mom, she was
ready to give up after the first three, but I gave her a little pep
talk, we counted the steps and with each one she felt a little better.
But getting her in the house from the garage through the yard, up the
steps to the house then up the steps to my room was more exercise than
she had done in over 2 1/2 months, so she is really tired right now and
laying down in my bed, which is now hers. :o)
am glad she is home, and pray I have not made a mistake bringing her
home, please pray that God will give me wisdom to do the right thing.
If you made it this far, thank you for taking time to read this Deb.
Less than a week home :o)
My mother is doing very well since I have brought her home. I took her
to the doctors yesterday. To get to my car she walked down 15 steps,
then down 4 more, then all the way from the back of the house to the
car out front so I could take her to the doctors. All of that from a
lady whom was so weak and shaky just a few days ago that all she could
do was sit and stare into space.
I am very, very glad I followed my gut feelings and brought her home.
new update-chat with friend
Poems2God: it has been the worst night and day of my life
Jokylekris: why do you say that
mother is staying with me, that in and of itself is a long story, but
last night about 5:00 pm she got the runs and it has been ongoing
straight through the night right up until I finally had a few seconds
to sit down here
is 78 and just got out of a rehab hospital, I actually had to take her
out against docs orders because they were killing her
Jokylekris: I remember...that is a shame
was getting better each day up until yesterday afternoon, then she got
very weak and got the runs, she gets meals on wheels and I think one of
the people that made the meal may have had a virus, Doc thinks so too,
called about an hour ago
now she is too weak to get out of bed fast enough and the runs come
every 15 minutes or so, she has shit on the bed 4 times, she has shit
on the floor seven times, I have cleaned and bathed her at least 25
times in the last 17 hours
Jokylekris: Jay ...it is hard I know...but try to remember it is not her fault...do you have any Immodium AD it does work
have used every sheet I have, every quilt and every blanket and she is
still going, I dumped so much stuff down the toilet from her potty
chair that it stopped up and overflowed twice with shitty water running
all over the bathroom and out into the hallway
Poems2God: the doc says not to give her anything because the runs are her body's way of healing itself
Jokylekris: maybe you need to take her to the hospital..if she has done that much she may be getting dehydrated
before I sat down here I had just gotten her semi cleaned up, I brought
over the wash pan with all the water and soap in it, because there is
not much room I tripped and dumped the water all over the floor and the
Poems2God: I am exhausted, I have been cleaning up shit and trying to save the carpets all night long :o(
Jokylekris: Oh...Jay...I am so sorry ..I wish I could help you....It is hard on you I know
Poems2God: Doc says to keep water in her and gatorade and chicken noodle soup to replenish electrolytes
Poems2God: because I am out of food here almost, in the midst of all this I had to run to the store like a wild man
Jokylekris: Are you an only child Jay....I forgot to ask you that the last time
can you believe, the very second the toilet overflowed and I had shit
floating down the hallway I had to take a poop and had nowhere to go
Poems2God: yes, I am only child
Poems2God: TESTIMONY OF JAY L. ZUMBRUM
Poems2God: that tells my story :o)
Jokylekris: that sounds about right.....never fails...
Jokylekris: you sent it to me last time we talked
was running around like a nut pinching my but cheeks so I would not add
to the demise of the carpets when mom looked at me and said, "Why don't
you use the potty chair"
Poems2God: but cheeks = butt cheeks
Jokylekris: I am sorry but there is some humor in this
Poems2God: in the middle of all that I had to just stop and allow myself to laugh
Jokylekris: well that is good...so it was not a totally shitty day then .....right ????
do not understand where all the poop is coming from, she has pooped
more than she has eaten since she came home from the Rehab, it has been
a very hard 17 hours
Jokylekris: when it is liquid it seems like it is a lot more ....has no form
Jokylekris: I never thought I would be sitting on the internet talking about poop.....Did you?
Poems2God: no, I suppose not
Jokylekris: sort of funny huh...
Poems2God: I have lost my temper a number of times, I keep telling mom I am not mad at her, but I am madder than heck at that poop
Poems2God: I feel so bad for her
Poems2God: it will be funny when I am no longer in the midst of it, but right now, I am really frazzled
can see that....yes she is probably very embarrassed....anyone would be
in that situation...you are a good person to be sticking with her.
am doing my best, got some soup and power ade into her the last time I
had her up, and two glasses of water, she is really trying hard
I have the dilemma of getting to a laundry mat to wash all this stuff
up and getting back without her being here with poop in her pampers too
Jokylekris: you are doing alot more than many people would do....do you know anyone who could stay with her while you go
I have to get to wal-mart to replace her depends, paper towels, handy
wipes, Kleenex, ben gay, carpet cleaner for pets, (which works great on
the poop so far), and numerous other items she has depleted overnight
there is no one I know that could come, I have no friends and all mom's
brothers and sisters are gone, her last sister died just the other
night at the age of 94.
eventually made a full recovery and after being home less than two
months was once again out and about charming the neighbors, walking
several city blocks everyday to get a daily paper and many
times to a Hardee's some three blocks away to get her lunch. This time in a safer neighborhood. She
had full mobility and was as stubborn and feisty as ever up until about
her last month of life.
I wish with all my heart
that I could tell you here I was the perfect son, that I never lost my
temper or yelled at mom while she was with me, but it would not be
true. Mom had a very stubborn streak and if she did not understand how
something worked, instead of asking for my help she would force
whatever she was working with, usually breaking it, whatever IT
happened to be at that moment and I would often lose my temper in those
These are the times when my mother
taught me unconditional love. She would look so sad and I would have to
retreat to my bedroom for a few moments to let the tears out. When I
came out again, there she was, loving me as if nothing had happened.
I am forever thankful to God that he allowed me this time with my
mother to begin to make up for my many, many horrible mistakes and am
looking forward to the time when I see my mother again so I can tell
her how very, very much I love her. Return To Contents
|RELIGIOUS CONFUSION AND DOCTRINAL CHAOS|
You must be a Baptist, no Lutheran, no Pentecostal
You better pick one boy, or God will be quite hostile
You must be an Adventist, Mormon or JW
You better pick one boy, for all are quite above you!
You are so confused, now what do you believe
Take a look upon our list, agree or you must leave
You better be a Methodist, or even Apostolic
Have you made your choice, are you sure you got it?
Are you Charismatic, do you dance and sing
Do you go to movies, Oh, those awful things
You must sign this paper, or we will not trust
When you die, you will live, or maybe be just dust!
With a tear I said to God, I feel so all alone
He said to me, "It's okay, believe and you'll come home"
So much clamor and confusion, have we lost the voice
Now as a child, with simple faith, I have made my choice!
1 Timothy 2:5 (NIV)
5 For there is one God and one mediator between
God and men, the man Christ Jesus
© Jay L. Zumbrum
In Jesus Precious Name
And For His Glory
My first attempt to accept Christ as my savior came in 1969 when I was
16. At the time I was incarcerated in a state correctional facility for
juveniles in New Castle, PA and was on my second tour of duty as a
One of our counselors had put
together a field trip to Pittsburgh, PA to see a Billy Graham crusade
and since my behavior had been good and I was not considered a threat
to run I was one of the inmates chosen to go on the trip. I do not
remember everything Billy said that night but I remember vividly the
pull in my heart to go down front to receive Christ when he gave the
call. I asked to be allowed to go down, but we were in a huge facility
and we were seated so far up and so far away that Billy looked very
small and I was told it was too much of a security risk to free up one
of the guards to take me down, so I was not allowed to go down. I
remember being deeply disappointed, even bitter and soon after leaving
Pittsburgh the tug in my heart faded.
If you have read the first part of my testimony
you know what happened when I was released from New Castle. You also
know that in 1980 at the age of 27 I accepted Jesus as my savior. But
what many do not know is that upon that acceptance I was thrown into a
quagmire of religious confusion and doctrinal chaos in my heart and in
my mind that drove me to isolation and depression beyond any I had ever
The preacher I had seen on TV while flicking the channels as described in part one of my testimony
was not your average run of the mill pastor. He was Herbert W.
Armstrong, Pastor General of the Worldwide Church Of God, and his
teachings were radically different than main line Christian
denominational churches. I had caught the very end of his program where
he was basically giving an alter call and I knew I needed God and could
no longer run. He also offered free literature to help me in my walk
with God. Free was good, I could buy that, so after hitting my knees in
repentance I immediately fired off a request for literature, which I
was sure was not going to be free.
When my first
pieces of free literature arrived I excitedly opened the envelope and
pulled out the booklets and sat down with my Bible to begin to
understand God and how I could best be a good Christian. It took all of
ten minutes for me to become unglued.
challenged me to prove him wrong, said he had the only truth, said
everything I knew about God before his literature arrived was satanic,
said I was a servant of Satan if I did not follow his teachings.
Man, I came from the streets. If you are going to spew stuff like that
you better be able to back it up. I felt with all my heart God was
calling me into some sort of ministry and I also knew in my heart I did
not dare teach others error, so when this guy challenged me it was war.
I was going to get this nut out of the way quickly and move on for God.
I quickly learned from Herbert's booklets that if you were going to
prove him wrong you would need at least a concordance, a Bible
dictionary and Greek and Hebrew lexicons, because in his teachings he
based many of his doctrinal beliefs on the wording in the original
The fire to know the absolute
truth was ignited in my heart, nothing less than correctness would do, I
had to get this right before I could preach or teach for God. Thus
began the rudimentary collection of Bible study reference works that
grew over the years from a few basic helps to over 5 full bookshelves
of reference works.
At the same time I was coming
to grips with Herbert I was also coming into contact with a vast array
of doctrinal teachings from the mainline churches and not so mainline
churches. Each one telling me they had the absolute truth and it was
their way or the Hell-Way!
I decided in my heart
before I could lead anyone to Christ I better be very sure just
where I was leading them. I did not want anyone else going through the
isolation and depression I was now beginning to experience as one wild
eyed Christian after another condemned me to hell for the questions I
was honestly and prayerfully seeking answers to.
I cannot put into words what I began to feel as I sincerely
sought solid answers only to find that Christians did not agree,
preachers did not agree, different Bible dictionaries did not agree
with each other, Bible encyclopedias did not agree and Bible commentary
sets did not agree. I felt a pull so strong to share God I could barely
suppress it. I wanted to go to Bible college, but where, which one, who
had the truth? And then there was still Herbie to contend with. The man
whose challenge opened the door to heartbreak and isolation for me.
Moving forward from my original 1980 conversion to my re-commitment in
1986, as noted earlier, the situation began getting worse after my 1986
re-commitment and I was becoming ever more isolated, bitter and
beginning to wonder if God really loved me.
as noted earlier, in early 1984 I began attending AA (Alcoholics
Anonymous) meetings and though I went through some severe testing in
this almost three year period, (you will need to read the book for
details) God had allowed some very sincere and caring people to come
into my life in AA and I began to know a love I had never known before.
After three years of deep self analysis and working the program I
was able to love and be loved for the first time in my life. I had
built some deep and loving relationships with my sponsors and many
times was asked to speak at open AA meetings and rehabs. But when I hit
my knees in 1986 to come back to God the love began to unravel. It was
the last thing I expected and honestly, as it all unfolded I went into
When I first began writing poetry my
sponsors were thrilled, but as I got closer to God and began asking
more and deeper God questions it became obvious to me that my sponsors
wanted nothing to do with the God of the Bible and I wanted more to do
with Him. One of my sponsors hated the God of the Bible. They had
sayings like GOD equals Good Orderly Direction and SIN equals Self
Imposed Nonsense. It was obvious we were growing apart, so I left AA
and began attending churches to find the love I had lost, but there was
an unresolved problem. The religious confusion and doctrinal chaos
was still there.
Because of the many teachings
coming my way from 1980 on, and my now growing library and my desire to
know the truth, every time I visited a church to see if I fit in there
and people came up to talk to me I would ask questions, many times
going right to the pastor. I would ask questions about the original
languages, if what one denomination or another taught about certain
things were true based on the original languages. I would ask with the
purest of heart and motives only to find that even pastors could not or
would not answer my questions. I got responses like "You're just
confused." or "Why are you worried about that?" or my all time
favorite, "You are demon possessed!".
say I was not finding love in the churches and this broke my heart. I
went from knowing more love from others and for others than I had
ever known in my life and frequent public speaking to being an outcast
and very, very lonely, very, very sad, and the seed of bitterness had
been planted in my once healing heart.
I could go on for hours here with what I have been through since 1980,
and will cover much more of this in "Who Cares?" But for now just let
me say this. The isolation and depression went on for years. I felt God
had pulled some horrible trick on me and my faith wavered desperately
at times. I did not understand and it hurt deeply.
In the end, God's love and mercy
finally won the day and it is because of this experience that you will
find I judge no denomination, refuse to debate doctrinal issues and
seek only to spread God's unfathomable love and mercies as they have
been shown to me by Him.
It became so clear to me, the quagmire of
doctrinal confusion was a small thing in the grand scheme of God's
plan. The part I had to play was simple, take the mercy I had been
shown, the forgiveness I had been given, and pass it on to others, and
today, that is simply what I do. Return To Contents
|THE HEALING BEGINS! WE ARE FAMILY|
I sit here today, December 11, 2008, at about 3:00 PM EST, I am deeply
reflective and thinking back to my first days in 1980 as a Christian
and everything that has happened in my life since.
am deeply reflective because for the second time in my life, for the
first time in over 22 years, I am beginning to let love back into my
heart and letting down my guard. The last time I did that was in 1986
as my time in AA was coming to a close.
just been in the hospital from 11:00 PM Friday evening until about 1:00
PM Wednesday, December 10, 2008. I am convinced that God used this stay
in the hospital to show me that even though I am now poor by the
world's standards and have no health insurance, he can still lead me to
people who sincerely care about my well being and had the perfect
hospital sitting there waiting to care for me.
I was treated with dignity, respect and compassion
by every member of the staff and was constantly amazed while in the
hospital how much the staff sincerely cared for me even though I had no
insurance and was running up a massive bill I can only pray I will one
day pay off..
I have cut and
pasted a letter I wrote to a lady on line who prayed for me while I
was in the hospital below.
The hospital I was in is a rare gem in this world and even though I was
destitute with no insurance I was treated with so much respect, compassion and
sincere concern for my health that I am in amazement.
It is the smaller of the two hospitals here in York, PA but I used to
take my mother there because even though she was poor by the world's standards
they always treated her like a queen. My mom had a way of charming people anyway
just by being her, but I have seen it over and over in case after case, this
Hospital is for real and growing. The name of the hospital is Memorial Hospital.
Their web site is at www.mhyork.org
I pray you are healing and feeling better Angel. In His love,
finally returned to church on Sunday, November 23, 2008 as you've read
above. I missed this Sunday because of my stay in the hospital. I had
been visiting another church for several months back in the early
spring of this year and though I was deeply touched by the sincerity
and honesty of the Pastor, I just never seemed to settle in there and I
am sure part of that was my fear of scaring people with my Hep C.
Though it did not seem like a good fit for me, I had watched this
Pastor for probably well over four months before I withdrew again due
to my Hep C fears.
I will forever have this
thought of her as I listened to the service the first week I peeked in
the doors, swallowed my fears and went in.
My first thoughts were, "Wow, she is so open, so honest, so sincere. She is like a breath of fresh air!"
I guess God knew exactly what I needed to keep me from running. The
people in the church are also very sincere and caring and tried to make
me feel welcome and loved, but these were my first baby steps back and
I was deeply cautious.
They have an awesome youth
ministry and I will freely recommend this church to anyone. I just seem
to fit better where I used to take mom. You can learn more about them
at: First Moravian
Church of York, PA
Upon returning to my old church, Calvary Chapel of York, and hearing Pastor Tony live again for the first time in many years, my thoughts were the same as when I walked into First Moravian, "Wow, he
is so open, so honest, so sincere. He is like a breath of fresh air! I
have missed this fellowship." But this time I feel like I am home, like
I fit. To see pictures of my home church and some of the body of Christ click here, Calvary Pictures.
The road to Calvary Chapel opened up to me when I met Jay and Elizabeth Roberts while dining out in late 1999. They
in this area appearing at a local church with their very powerful
and original music and I had my mother out to eat at Eat N Park here in York.
Though I was not in fellowship in a church God was still pushing
forward the web site Poems2God ministry and I was still deeply into
Biblical studies trying to sort through all the confusion in my mind
and heart concerning doctrinal matters. Mom had stopped attending The Family Worship Center of York a few years after I left.
I had on a Christian t-shirt and Jay saw it as we were passing by to
leave. Something compelled him to jump up and introduce himself and as
he commented on my t-shirt he reached out his hand and said, " I am
Jay, you from York?" I reached my hand and said, "I am Jay, we are from
Jay and Elizabeth invited us to come see them that evening and mom
really wanted to go and so did I. I knew we needed fellowship, so we
went. Jay and Elizabeth kind of adopted us from that point on and began
to minister to me to help me through my depression. I am going to keep
this brief and you will be able to read the rest in "WHO CARES",
but it was Jay who told me about the church he was attending in VA
named Calvary Chapel and he suggested I find one in this area if there
Jay did some checking and found that a
brand new Calvary Chapel had just formed in York and so mom and I began
going there. At that time they were not yet a Calvary Chapel but were a
Calvary Fellowship. Over the following years I filtered in and out of
the church as I battled depression and my doctrinal quagmires and my
fears of not fitting in, but the church and the Pastor always welcomed
mom and I when we came back. It is to this Calvary Chapel that I have now returned.
It has taken me years to get back to Calvary Chapel.
My latest battle with severe depression began around July of 2007 when
my feet began to hurt so badly I was having trouble walking, my left
hand was beginning to shake more and more and I was getting so tired at
work I had trouble making myself move.
started with this company in November of 2006 after leaving another
company I had been with since March of 2004 where I set up and ran a
110 ton stamping machine producing parts for Harleys. At the new
company I was being trained on all their CNC machines and had made the
transition from metal working back to woodworking. Something I had
wanted to do for over a year and up until June of 2007 everything
seemed fine except for constant pain in my feet, but not yet to
the point where it was affecting my work.
the beginning of July 2007 I knew I was beginning to fail at work and
on July 17 on my way to work my feet were hurting so bad I
knew I would not make it through the day so I pulled over, called into
work and went to the emergency room at Memorial Hospital to find out if
my foot was possibly broken or to see if maybe I had a splintered bone.
The ER doctors took ex rays and told me I had extremely flat feet and
this and the earlier injury where they thought I might loose my leg
many years before were now the cause of the problem in my feet.
The doctor also noticed my left hand shaking and felt I might be in the
beginning stages of Parkinson's disease and also felt my hepatitis C
was wearing me out and making me tired all the time. So he set me up
with an internal medicine doctor who I saw the next day. This doctor
took one look at me and asked me what in the world I was doing trying
to work. He put me on short term disability from work and set me up
with several specialists to see just what I was dealing with, and that
is when my world began to be turned upside down one more time.
The specialists confirmed the Parkinson's and the Hepatitis C and also
my extremely flat feet. It was in the middle of all this testing that
the company I was working for said they could no longer hold my job and
fired me and canceled my insurance. I was already beginning to get into
a hole because on short term disability I was only getting $200.00 a
week and they were taking taxes out of that plus $28.00 a week for my
insurance coverage. When the company left me go I had no income at all
and no insurance, so all the doctors I had been seeing would no longer
As my world began to unravel I quit going to church again after just having returned to church at First Moravian in the spring.
I will cover much more in "Who Cares?", but for now will just let you
know I almost went homeless, almost lost my car, rarely had food to eat
and got so depressed I was not even taking showers and could not think
clearly. I was sure I was going to lose everything, but time after time
God came through.
First, because of the way the
company had fired me, and after a brief tussle with them for several
weeks, God allowed me to begin collecting unemployment. Because I had
always paid my rent on time and because I had always made my car
payments on time God touched hearts and my landlord worked with me till
my unemployment checks began coming in and allowed me time to get
caught up and the place where I had bought my car did the same. The
last week I was able to collect unemployment my first check came in
from Social Security Disability and was followed by my economic
stimulus check, so I began to make slow steps back.
It was during this time of deep depression, as I was sitting here
wondering if there was anything at all I could ever do for God again,
wondering if God was now going to take even my on-line ministry from
me, wondering if I would ever be productive for God again
that Joel Ness came back into my life.
seen or heard from Joel in over 35 years when he reemerged
life. Joel had been surfing the web looking for information on my
cousin, John Plath, who spent over 20 years on death row in South
Carolina before being executed in July of 1998. Because I was saved
due to a letter, a Bible signed by 12 death row inmates, (see
picture of this Bible by clicking the link to my testimony page below),
cassette tape John recorded on death row and sent to me telling me if I
did not change I would also end up in prison or dead, I constructed a
web page about my two cousins executed in 1998. (Yes, two cousins) Joel
found that web
page, then he found my testimony page and my poems pages and he
contacted me via e-mail and thus came back into my life. All of this
happened as I was dealing with new medical realities that have turned
my life upside down and as I was struggling with deep depression
wondering if there was anything at all left that I could do for God. In
than two weeks God's Gang had come together and produced a CD with the
original audio from three of my web pages and 11 of the poems God has
allowed me to write put to music on the CD.
Joel's choosing of the name God's Gang as the name
for the group of people who came together for a project Joel had a
vision for is appropriate since both Joel and I, as we grew into our
teenage years, became members of street gangs here in York, PA. Joel
then went on to join the Army, then left the military to attend Bible
College, then joined the Marines and retired after 20 years total in
the armed forces to the state of Alabama. Joel fought in he first Iraq
war. There is so much to share
about what Joel has done to touch my life and encourage me that much of
it will have to be saved for my book, "Who Cares?". Return To Contents
THIS PAGE REMAINS UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND MORE
WILL BE ADDED AS TIME PERMITS
CHECK BACK FREQUENTLY
May God richly bless you as we move forward together, in the knowledge and
truth of the most famous man to ever walk the face of the earth, the only
man in history with the keys to the gates of Heaven, our precious, loving,
risen Savior, JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH.
IN JESUS PRECIOUS NAME
AND FOR HIS GLORY
Jay L. Zumbrum
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