ONE FLESH

THE BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE



This study is compiled from letters and studies written for myself
and others over the years.

Dear Reader,
    I know you may not understand this or see it as I do, but God made sex a very special thing between a man and a woman and something happens in our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our brains and our spirit when we make love with another person. God's word bears this out when he tells us we will become one flesh with our partner. Please at least consider this line of thought as the concept unfolds below.

Genesis 2:24
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
 and they will become one flesh. (NIV)
 
Matthew 19:4-6
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  

    There is so much I am learning, so much that I already knew that is now flooding back into my heart and mind as I seek to draw closer to God and treat others as God would have me treat them.
    I know at this point you may not believe sex with another bonds you to that person if it is only casual sex, but consider this scripture below, for it leaves no doubt that the contact is casual, yet plainly states that the sexual act will make the two one. This will be an important concept as this study and e-mail develop. 

1 Corinthians 6:16

16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body

For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”  

    On this same thought line please consider two more scriptures and store all of the scriptures I've given you on becoming one with another in your heart and mind for reference later as this concept develops in ways you may never have considered.
    When a man marries he takes on the responsibility of providing for his wife, clothing and feeding her. Something in him causes this to happen. Causes his priorities to change and causes him to now accept this way of life. He will do this the rest of his life unless something gets in the way, but for now, add this scripture to reflect on in conjunction with becoming one. 

Ephesians 5:28-31
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 

    And last, but certainly not least in this line of thought, consider that it is possible for a man to be taken captive in a way that will divide his oneness with his wife, and how once this happens, instead of being held captive by her love and pleasure alone, he finds himself also drawn to, captivated by, another woman, which in the end, as we see time and time again in today's promiscuous society, can only lead to heartbreak and ruin of his family. 

Proverbs 5:15-23
15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. 16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? 17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. 18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?  21 For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. 22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.23 He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.

    I believe the above scriptures clearly show something very serious happens within us when we unite with another sexually. But there are even greater concerns than this, as we now consider how serious God considers sexual sin.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 

    I believe, with all my heart, Satan has successfully cheapened God's gift of bonding through the act of making love to nothing more than a quick thrill in today's world. Has he really succeeded?
    I think to find an honest answer to this question we first must look at the state of affairs in America today in relationship to what appears in print, on tapes and CD's, in magazines and newspapers, in movies and in or on endless other forms of marketing and advertising, such as billboards along our roadsides for example.

    I think many people in America would be astounded to know that their daily newspapers contain pornography and lots of it. You may think I have lost my mind here, but if you went back to the turn of the 20th century and looked at pornographic literature you would find something akin to what now appears in your local newspaper almost on a daily basis as advertisements for bras and panties. Or take a walk through any fair sized Mall in America today and you will come across a store known nationwide as Victoria's Secret where you will find on display in the windows lust provoking images in what can now be considered your Town Square.

    I once read an article in a magazine that made this astonishing statement, men in America today think about sex every ten seconds. I found that a bit much to accept, but, it did cause me to begin to take a look around at just what now appears in every nook and cranny of America as advertising. And it caused me to take a very long and hard look at what is now considered prime time TV in this country. What were once considered pornographic movie scenes we now see on TV on a daily basis.
    Satan is indeed a very crafty being. He uses God's word and learns from it. Oh that we as Christians would be so diligent in our use and study of God's instruction manual. Let me give you a quick example of how Satan uses the wisdom of God against us. First let us examine a few scriptures and see what their pure and Godly intent is, then let us see how Satan has taken this wisdom and turned it for his advantage. Let us now look at scriptures. (All scripture is taken from the NIV)

Matthew 6:22-23
22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

Romans 12:2
2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 10:17
17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

    Looking at the above scriptures we can get a pretty clear view of how God intended his Word, the Bible, to become a part of our daily lives. First he expects us to look at the world with Godly eyes and not with eyes that are seeking to take in the sexual and material pleasures of the world, for clearly, what we put into our mind (what we view with our eyes) is what comes out in our actions, so therefore if we stay focused on Godly thoughts we put aside the desires that Satan seeks to cause to rage in us. By reading God's Word we can keep a mental picture of that Word and the world as God wants us to see it in our minds. The writer of Ecclesiastes was led to write the following.

Ecclesiastes 1:8
8 All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.

    Second, when we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior we become new creatures in Christ, the old man dies and a new arises. Unfortunately, after our initial elation at being free from sin and the joy of receiving God's mercy, we tend to settle into a walk with the Lord that is not quite what we expected. We find that we are many times tested in the days, weeks, months and years that lie ahead. We are therefore cautioned to renew our minds, to transform them, to stand in faith when we are tested to take a bribe, to tell a lie, to steal a pen from work. We avoid these pitfalls by renewing our minds with a new way of living, by replacing old thought processes with new ones that center on the Word of God.
    Many times this requires great faith, which brings me to point number three.

    Faith comes from hearing the message. For our eyes to see in a new way, for our minds to think in a new way, we must learn a new way, and we do this by hearing the word, or reading it, on a regular basis. We must constantly seek to blot out the sights and sounds of the world by renewing our minds with the Word of God. This is what God intended.
    Now, let us move to the enemy's camp and see how he has used the wisdom of the above scriptures to wage war against us.

    First, Satan has caused the leaders of world media to focus on sex as a selling tool. We live in a country that is based on competitiveness, each advertiser or magazine or newsprint provider seeking to draw business to their firms and each company seeking an advantage over the competition to sell more of their products. I would venture to say there are few, if any, people in America over the age of 20 who have not heard the old adage "Sex Sells". Because advertisers have come to realize that this "Sex Sells" mentality works, we see sexual ads appearing everywhere. We see it in movies, we see it on TV in sitcoms, in dramas, and yes, even in Children's Saturday morning TV shows. I cannot tell you how many times I have gone to a local department store and bought what was considered entertainment for the whole family in the form of a movie only to get it home and find foul language and children making reference to other children in sexual and provocative ways.
    So here in America our eyes and ears are assaulted daily almost from the time we arise until we return to bed by sexual stimulation. It is everywhere we turn and this causes an almost constant bombardment of our senses with sexual input. When you add that to the bombardment we get from advertisers as to why we need the latest materialistic toys to make us happy, then factor in our desire to make enough money to afford the latest toys,  you can begin to understand how craftily Satan works to invade our thoughts. In America we have become so sexual as a society that what once was hidden in the raunchiest illegal magazines is now displayed daily in our newspapers as advertisements and on our TV's, computers and radios as entertainment.
    It is obvious then, that Satan has taken to heart God's wisdom when God says,

Matthew 6:22-23
22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

    Satan assaults us with sights, sounds and yes, even smells that cause us to desire sex. It goes much deeper than that to where he has made a firm and determined assault on family values by trying to convince us that extramarital affairs are common and the norm. He teaches our children to be sexually promiscuous by convincing them through their peers that sexual activity at a young age is the norm and then enhances that temptation when our children find sexually explicit magazines and videos hidden away in their parents bedrooms.
    My point is simply this. In modern day America we are not dealing with a normal situation in daily life, but with one where we are now assaulted blatantly on all sides and in every way by sexual stimulation so that counselors trying to deal with this onslaught unknowingly find themselves condoning practices that were never meant to be condoned. In short, if I may put it bluntly, Satan is renewing our minds on a daily basis with his own agenda to keep us from fully realizing just what he is doing. He has us thinking about sex on an almost constant unconscious level which is leading to an unprecedented moral breakdown in this country.  I know many who read this study will by now be thinking I am some kind of prude and I am way off to one side on this issue, but let's take a long and honest look at just what God does say in His Word about sexual immorality and just how sexual immorality is defined by God in His Word. We already know they eyes are the lamp to our hearts and minds. How serious does God consider what we see to be?

Matthew 5:27-28
27 "You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart

    The Bible Knowledge Commentary explains the above scripture as follows:

5:27-28. A second practical illustration dealt with the problem of adultery (Ex. 20:14). Once again the Pharisees' teaching was concerned only with the outward act. They said the only way one could commit adultery was through an act of sexual union. They correctly quoted the commandment, but they missed its point. Adultery begins within one's heart (looking lustfully) and follows in the act. The lustful desire, in the heart, as wrong as the act, indicates that one is not rightly related to God.
   

    When we view the above scripture in light of one I have already quoted it becomes very clear that looking or thinking of another in a sexual way when not in the context of marriage is ungodly.

Matthew 6:22-23
22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

    Now before you go off the deep end here and start shaking your finger at me and telling me this pertains only to the institution of marriage, give me time to get to the meat of the matter, which is the fact that once you have sexual relations with someone, anyone, there is a bonding that is built between those two people as their spirits now strive to become as one and it has nothing to do with marriage. Would you like some proof from God's Word? As we saw earlier in 1 Cor. 6.16 Paul was led by the Holy Spirit to write the following message.

1 Corinthians 6:16

16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body?
 For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."

    The above scripture leaves no doubt that a bonding takes place between two people when they have sexual relations and Matt. 5:27-28 (looking lustfully) makes it clear that there does not have to be actual physical contact for this immoral sexual bond to be forged. We can take that on the authority of the one whom created us, for I am sure he knows this far better than we do.
    As for myself, when I fell a few years ago, until I began to renew my mind with God's Word, I know the very powerful pull I experienced when talking with one of the young ladies I had met on line and experienced cyber and phone sex with. It was real, it caused me to take my focus off of God and place it on sex and it was powerful, very powerful, so powerful in fact that the only thing that was able to break that pull was by renewing my mind with God's Word as soon as the temptation came. And it all began by this young lady convincing me she had fallen in love with me and me trying to convince her she hadn't. I slowly got pulled in until I did the following.

2 Corinthians 10:5

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

    God feels so strongly about our proper use of sexual desire that he caused the following to be written in Proverbs.

Proverbs 5:15-20
15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. 16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? 17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. 18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. 20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

    One other thing to consider here is this fact. Once we have sexual relations with another person, despite the fact that we may not have wanted to, we have built a bond with that person, even if the sex was only in our mind, as Matt.5:27-28 (looking lustfully) points out and Matt.6:22-23 (eyes are the lamp) confirms, and this is further confirmed by God when he caused to be written in Genesis the following scripture concerning what would happen to Eve once she had sexual relations with Adam.

Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

    Since by having sexual relations with another we build a bond with that person, so then when we have multiple sexual partners we are diluting the bond we want to build with the one we want to marry or are married to. We are actually building immoral sexual desires and ties that will not be quite so easy to break lest we turn back to God and let him renew our hearts and minds with His wisdom, love and mercy. In other words, unless we do this building of ties as God ordained it to be, we are building then, with more than one person, ties so as to cause confusion in our body, mind and spirit and this will bring, in the end, the destruction of the relationship we may want to build with someone we sincerely want to marry. God is no respecter of persons, there are consequences for sin and lest we turn from the sins, God will allow the consequences of our sin to deal with us and he tells us that explicitly in His Word.

Proverbs 5:11-14
11 At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. 12 You will say, "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! 13 I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors. 14 I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."

Proverbs 5:21-23
21 For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. 22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. 23 He will die for lack of discipline,
led astray by his own great folly.

    Please do not be deluded by well meaning counselors telling you sex is just fine and dandy. I think God's Word is very clear on the matter, not only in the context of adultery, but in the context of the single individual and his mental state of well being as far as his walk with God and even as far as his mental ability to function in a normal manner. Sexual sin is not to be taken lightly as Paul was led to declare below.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

    God says His Words will not be mocked. He means it, and He has warned us for our own good! He has built our sexual drives in conjunction with our spirit and the two function as one when used in the context of a Godly relationship. Used then in the wrong way, they will bring pain and destruction to relationships with those we sincerely want to build loving relationships with.

Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

Proverbs 6:23-26
23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, 24 keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. 25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, 26 for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

Proverbs 7:6-23
6 At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice. 7 I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment. 8 He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house 9 at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. 10 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. 11 (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home; 12 now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.) 13 She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said:  14 "I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows. 15 So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! 16 I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. 17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. 18 Come, let's drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love! 19 My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. 20 He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon."  21 With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. 22 All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose 23 till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.

    Harsh words? Or a loving warning from a merciful God who knows what type of sexual relationship we need to be happy? Your Heavenly Father loves you. You may not always agree with him, but to do it any other way is to buck against your Creator. Trust me, he has a blueprint in heaven and it is indeed very detailed. He knows exactly what you need to be happy. May God bless you as you seek to live life to its fullest.

Romans 8:28
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.

THE BLUEPRINT

Did you ever have a day, when you thought you just might cry
Did you ever have a day, in which you'd want to die
Did you ever have a day, when life was much too real
Did you ever have a day, when God's love you could not feel?

I've had some days like that, so hard and so intense
The pain was overwhelming, so I jumped up on my fence
And on the fence I sat, looking all around
For God's love I could not feel, in my heart twas just not found!

I did not understand the pain, nor why I was not blessed
I did not understand, it just might be a test
I did not understand, how much I had to learn
I did not understand, how hot the fires could burn!

So from my fence I called, crying out to see
Calling out to God, "Have you no plan for me?"
And then my eyes were opened, God said He had a plan
As He now pulled out my blueprints, and placed them in my hands!

The prints were very detailed, unlike any I had seen
They had my heart and mind, and yes, even my knees
Then God took my right hand, and placed it on my hair
He said, "For each strand that is growing, I've placed a number there!"

"Now open up your Bible, to Matthew 10 and 30"
"I know your every hair, even if it's dirty"
"If I have plans like this, on just how you were made"
"Have I not a plan, to keep you from Hell's grave?"

I was overwhelmed, the tears began to flow
I was wonderfully made, and every hair he knows
For as my hairs are numbered, and as God cares that much
It's easy to believe, that I can trust his touch!

Jay L. Zumbrum
In Jesus Precious Name
And for HIS Glory

LONELY

Deep within my heart, the lonely seed did grow
Blocking out the Jesus, that I'd come to know
Tears began to fall, from my lonely heart
And that is how ole Satan, thought he'd break my heart!

As Satan danced in glee, at my lonely plight
I began to weep, in my lonely night
Surely God forgot me, for I am all alone
No one says hello, not even on the phone!

The tears are raging rivers, flowing to the floor
As I sit and look, upon my lonely door
My aching heart is shattered, blow by blow by blow
As Satan dances singing, "You just need sex, you know!"

And for a few short moments, that really sounds quite right
There is a lonely darkness, blocking out the light
My heart is getting weaker, with the lust of life
Satan dances wildly, handing me the knife!

The knife is very pretty, shapely, and quite sharp
Masquerading as an angel, playing lovely harp
The knife is on a mission, to cut salvation's cord
The rope that I hold onto, the one hooked to the Lord!

Then the words begin, the words, as etched in stone
The words that reassure me, that I am not alone
And as the darkness fades, failing in the light
The power in these words, gives me strength to fight!

Armed with all my weapons, I now unsheathe my sword
The one that bears the blood, shed by my sweet Lord
And at the very site, Satan's knife does flee
Around me angels dance, I weep in victory!

And now it's very clear, there really is a wife
One with whom someday, I'll share my awesome life
But first I seek the Father, as he helps me grow
And Jesus takes my hand, and shows me where to go!

Jay L. Zumbrum
In Jesus Precious Name
And for His Glory

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