Sharing the love of God through poetry,
testimonies, bible studies and letters
to an atheist and a teen.
|THE VISION, MISSION AND GOALS OF|
THE POEMS2GOD MINISTRY
May God richly bless you as you read the poems and testimonies that turned this broken, wounded and bitter child into a man whom loves his God with all his heart, and now, loves you too!
I've never seen my father, all my mother did was lie
And now you're asking me to trust some God in the sky
My uncle used to beat me, others laughed, but I would cry
Instead of going on living, this little boy wanted to die!
I used to go to church back then, but always felt so funny
Other kids wouldn't play with me, it had something to do with money
I cried to God, and asked him why, but never got an answer
Now you ask me to believe this God heals even cancer?
I used to go to school each day, in clothes that were not new
I wanted to hide in the walls of our house, but that would never do
You must go out and face the world, it's time to be abused
Just go out and go to school, ignore the holes in your shoes!
The pain was real, it hurt so much, I cried each night in bed
And when I asked why we lived like this, mom screamed, "I should be dead!"
Oh boy, I thought, mom hates this life, and only wants to die
I wonder why the neighbors laugh whenever we walk by?
My little heart grew callouses, it was hurt and beat so much
And now you expect my calloused heart to feel Jesus' gentle touch?
All the years I've spent in the world, were only to survive
And now you tell me Jesus loves me, and surely will provide!
I listen to the words you say, I want them to be true
So I open up my calloused heart, to let this love get through
Tender areas are now exposed, the pain is real again
And there you sit, smiling and saying, "Jesus is your friend!"
My heart cries out, "Don't trust this man, he's just like all the rest!"
I tell my heart, "Please don't worry, I'll only do what's best!"
My heart rebels and screams at me, "It hurts, it hurts, you fool!"
"Don't you see what he has in his hand, it's some kind of brand new tool!"
My heart retreats to heal it's wounds, it hides back in it's box
It's taken with it all the keys, now I'll have to pick the locks
The last one clicks, the top comes up, my heart looks up in fear
"Please, please, just go away, and let me stay in here!"
I grab my heart, and pull it out, my hands are wet with tears
My heart is not believing, it'll be different than other years
I tell my heart, "We must have faith, that's what they say to me!"
My heart gets mad and screams and shouts, "Show me something I can see!"
My heart is very slippery, and quite hard to hold onto
The tears are rolling from it's cheeks, "What are you trying to do?"
So once again, I take the time, I try and try to explain
"Be patient, be patient my wounded heart, you'll learn not to feel the pain!"
"You and I together heart, must learn to trust the Lord!"
"Together we must learn my friend, this pain can be ignored!"
"And when I want to run, my heart, you must grab me by the arm!"
"For it's hard for me to tell you this, but I too share your alarm!"
© 1987 Jay L. Zumbrum
In Jesus Precious Name
And for his Glory
The poem above was composed in 1987, shortly after rededicating my life to Christ and though I did not know at that time I would be writing my life story, this poem now opens the book. Click here to read an excerpt from the book, "WHO CARES?"
My original conversion took place in 1980 after receiving a letter from my cousin on death row in Columbia, SC. To read of my original conversion and the road that led to that conversion, click here to go to my "TESTIMONY OF JAY L. ZUMBRUM" page or click here to order my testimony on CD. My testimony is currently being updated to explain why I had to rededicate my life to the Lord in late 1986. See TESTIMONY PART II-THE MINISTRY BEGINS.
Some of that is also explained in brief on my testimony pages now and also on the "HOW THEY LEFT THE WORLD" page. I pray you will continue on my links, and let my mistakes become your wisdom! :o)